Over
the past six years, Shedlin has conducted thousands of hours of daddying
interviews with kids, dads, and granddads. He has crisscrossed the United
States and crossed the Atlantic Ocean to speak with and listen to a
broad socioeconomic and ethnic spectrum of kids (5-21 years old) and
dads and granddads (16-87 years old) in three countries (the U.S., England,
and Switzerland). Shedlin's ongoing discussions about daddying with
kids and adults have yielded several significant findings:
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There
is an overwhelming consensus about the qualities that kids want most
in their dads, the very same ones dads want to cultivate. They are
the same qualities that child development experts agree kids (and
adults) need in order to lead fulfilled and fulfilling lives.
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There
is an almost universal yearning by kids for dads to be more present
in their lives. That craving compounds over the years and remains
into adult life. The feeling is echoed by dads and granddads, whose
longing for greater involvement with their own dads generated lingering
sadness and resignation.
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There
is an under-appreciated reciprocity of benefits to children and men
alike when dads and their kids are more positively involved in each
other's lives. Likewise, although it is generally agreed that there
are not enough men in the lives of children, it is rarely noted that
there are not enough children in the lives of men.
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Parenting
does not take place in a vacuum - it is dramatically influenced by
multiple family "players" as well as a range of outside
forces and policies.
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Most
dads are eager to become the best fathers they can be.
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Many
men feel the presence of a glass ceiling at home just as many women
feel it at work.
An analysis of dads' and kids' responses, coupled with current research
on responsible fatherhood, led Shedlin to conclude that becoming the
dad children want and need their fathers to be is not as daunting as
many men believe.
DADS
Unlimited's research on effective parenting and dads' and children's
needs is ongoing. Please check back here for future reports on Shedlin's
research findings, and results of other research or surveys conducted
jointly with other parenting organizations and third parties.
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