following excerpt taken from:

Are You a Toxic Parent? cover story by Marc Fisher, Washington Post Magazine, July 30, 2006

"Kids thrive on firm boundaries, Shedlin preaches, but he sees more parents than ever who can't bring themselves to set limits for children of any age...

...'More and more parents are spending less and less time with their children, so when they do spend time, they want it to be free of conflicts.  And they think setting limits produces conflicts.  Of course, my experience is just the opposite.'

...When parents come to his office complaining about kids who act out, get into trouble or seem to run the family, the root problem Shedlin often finds is the parents' failure to set limits -- to determine bed times, to restrict TV watching, to steer kids away from bad influences, to withhold driving privileges, to be in charge.  The failure to say no to a little kid's every whim leads fairly directly to the inability or unwillingness to say no to coed sleepovers. 'What's missing,' Shedlin says, 'is parents setting their own compass.'"